Thinking It Through
by Isa The Great
Summary: " So who's the father?" He asked like a possessed man. He wanted to know who Casey had given her heart fully too, because he knew it wasn't him.


Title: Misjudged  
Author: Karmen Krowe  
Chapter 1: Unbelievable Heartbreak  
Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek or any of the show's characters. I do own Darren though  
Author's Note: This is my first Life With Derek fanfiction ever, and the first story I've posted in about a year. I am fully aware I suck at spelling, though I hope my spell check has caught a lot of my mistakes. Please do not leave Reviews saying you hate the story. You hate it, don't read it. End of Story. Also, please don't remind me I can't spell...Its kind of pointless to tell me since I already know and have done what I could to correct what is corrected. Enjoy the story and please Review!

* * *

Its been ten years since she'd last stepped foot into the MacDonald/Vanturi household. Ten years since she'd spoken to anyone other then Lizzie in that household. Casey MacDonald had no clue how she was going to be received now that she'd decided to return home, not to stay mind you. She was sure no one other then Lizzie knew about her shameful, yet blessing, mistake. She bit her lip as she pulled into the driveway of the house she use to call home. She was excited to return, to see her family, yet terrified of seeing him.

Hearing a yawn from the backseat, Casey put the car in park and turned it off, then promptly turned around to the back seat. " Sweetheart, its time to wake up." She said gently as she touched her 9 and a half year old son's leg to awaken him. When she saw one eye lid open, Casey continued to talk. " We're finally here, its time to met your Aunt Lizzie, your Uncle Edwin, your Aunt Marti, and grandma and grandpa!" She said putting excitement in her voice to make him more excited. Ever since he started school and heard stories about other's aunts and uncles, it had been her son's dream to met his.

Casey's words seemed to do the trick. Darren's eyes snapped open, excitement clearly in his face. Casey's heart swelled with joy at looking at him. Darren was her life. " Come on mommy!" He said, unblocking the seat belt and opening the door to get out. Casey followed suit. By the time she'd gotten out of the car, Darren was already at the door ringing the doorbell.

Up until the day before, no one had known about Darren but Lizzie. But since she was coming down, she wanted at least her mom and George to know about Darren, and so she had Lizzie tell only the whole family about Casey's son. Lizzie had told her on the phone during the drive home that Derek was the only one not to know, but only because he hadn't picked up his phone all day and they stopped trying. He was however going to be there today for most of the day.

Casey walked up the stairs as someone answered the door. Her mother, Nora, had opened the door and squealed with delight at looking at her only grandchild. She bent down and hugged him tightly. Casey knew she wouldn't have to worry over Nora's reaction to her soon. It was everyone else's reaction that had her concerted. She wanted them all to make Darren fill like he was at home.

After releasing Darren from her death hug, she turned and hugged her eldest daughter. " Casey I've missed you so much!" She said with tears in her eyes.

" I missed you too mom." Casey hugging her mom back. Then the trio walked inside the house.

" Casey's here!" Nora cried out happily for the others in the house to hear. Immediately there seemed to have a swarm of people coming up to Casey and Darren. All family. These were the people she had missed for the past ten years. The people she had ran away from.

When the swarm ended, and the mother and son were allowed to breath, they moved to the kitchen. Darren was steadfast holding onto his mother's hand. Though this was what he wanted, he couldn't help but feel a little scared. He had never met this people before, and he so desperately wanted them to like him. Edwin and George had managed to get him away from his mother and the other women in the kitchen, taking him into the living room to do male bonding. He took a look over his shoulders at his mother. She was finally laughing. Darren had wanted nothing more then to see his mother happy. It was strange for one so young, but he had known how much she'd gone through to raise him. That was why he'd never done anything to cause her trouble. He loved his mother and all that she did to make him happy every single day.

Casey smiled as she watched George and Edwin take her son in the living room so that they could do male bonding. She knew Darren needed a man in his life, and was glad the guys seemed to want him around. She watched him for a second and then joined the other ladies in the kitchen. " So where's Derek?" She asked, trying to make it seem like she didn't care if he was there or not. Only Lizzie knew the truth, and it was the truth she didn't want the others to know.

" Smerek said he'd be here in five minutes." Marti said, using her old pet name for her eldest brother. It amazed Casey that she still used it, and she was sure Derek still called Marti Smarti. Marti had grown into a beautiful young lady. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes others would kill for.

" He had practice early today so he could come home before rush hour." Nora commented as she started cutting up vegetables for dinner.

Derek had achieved his goal. To be a professional hockey player for the Leafs. Needing news of him, Casey had read ever article that might have him in it, even though she knew absolutely nothing about hockey or the teams. Derek had made it big time, becoming the Leafs captain shortly after joining the team. Because of this, his life was illustrated a lot. She'd read many times about the newest girl he was dating. It practically killed Casey to read these articles.

" Oh, I had heard he'd joined a hockey team" Casey said lightly, allowing the talk go from Derek onto something different, something Casey didn't really care to hear about.

Picking up a few spices from the spice cabinet, she brought them over to Nora for the soup. " Here you go mom." She said. Placing them down beside Nora she wiped her hands off with a napkin. " I'm going to go see if Darren would like anything." She said, leaving the kitchen.

It was as she was entering the living room that the door opened and Derek walked in, completely not noticing her. Casey stood still, her breath caught. She watched as Derek tossed his bag down on the floor and how he kicked off his shoes. Then he looked up, and after a second to recognize who she was, a look of complete shock entered his facial expression. He was not expecting to see her back here, ever.

Their eyes locked onto each other. Neither able to breath. " Casey…" Derek finally managed to say above a whisper. That was when Darren decided to turn around.

" Hay mom, did you know that Edwin use to do all his brother's biddings when they were younger…" He said., amazed at this.

Casey managed to tear her gaze away from Derek and focus on her son. " Yes sweetie I did. I use to get after them for that." She said smiling at her son, who as soon as she answered turned back to listen to his Grandpa and uncle.

Derek was completely surprised by the kids words. ' Casey's his mother…' He thought to himself. He could feel a small piece of him breaking apart. He had always hoped they could have a second chance, but now that seemed impossible. Derek immediately looked down at her right hand. ' No wedding ring…' So she wasn't married, and yet she had a child. He never thought Casey would have a child out of wed lock. Needing to talk to her, Derek grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her outside, closed the front door and turned on her.

" So who's the father?" He asked like a possessed man. He wanted to know who Casey had given her heart fully too, because he knew it wasn't him. It couldn't have ever been him she'd chose.

Casey folded her arms against her chest and glared up at the man she loved. She wanted nothing more then to tell him that the father was him, yet she knew she couldn't ever tell him that. Derek would just reject her son, just as he had rejected her. He had no feelings for her, and wouldn't for the son they had created that one night they had done the unimaginable. One night of passion had lead to a world of hurt in Casey's life. Though she loved her son with every fiber of her being, and wouldn't take back that night because she had gotten him, she felt she had so much more in life she could've done. She wanted more for Darren, but wasn't able to give him more.

" Why should you care who Darren's father is?" She questioned. She knew that just looking at the boy, any would could tell who the father was. It had depressed Casey that Darren had looked exactly like his father. She was sure the others in the family had already guessed who had sired Darren, they just weren't saying anything. She was grateful that the deem lighting had blocked most of Darren's features from Derek.

Derek had no answer for Casey. Well he did, just nothing that he would free willingly admit to her. There was too much in their past separating should they ever want to be together. It was all his fault that she had left. He had known that from the very start. It was his fault that Casey had fled and hadn't spoken to her family in years. He had lived every day knowing that. The guilt eating him up inside, making him someone different.

When Derek didn't answer, Casey sighed. She had been hoping that he would say that he cared because he loved her. But that had been just a dream. He didn't care about her, and never would. Hurt sprung into her eyes as she tried to keep herself from crying. " Go to hell Derek." She said, moving passed him and back into the house, where she ran up the stairs and into her old room. Slamming the door, Casey laid on her bed and silently cried.

* * *

_She was waiting in her room for him to join her. It had become a regular thing between the two siblings who at the start hated each other. It was growing up that had made them seem how much they had in common, and how good of friends they could become if they set apart their minor differences. Casey was reading her book when Derek entered. She wasn't sure when it had happened, but she had fallen hopelessly in love with him. It had surprised Casey to no end that she had these feelings for the slob. _

_" You hear Sam asked Emily out?" Derek said sitting down beside her on the bed. He had just been in his room talking to Sam who was walking home from Emily's house. He had just asked her out and was waiting on an answer as he had spoken to Derek. _

_" Yep, she just called and asked if it was alright with me." Casey answered. Since Sam was her ex, Emily that thought she needed permission to date him. Casey had told Emily several times that she was completely over Sam, after all, she had dumped him. She had even told Emily that she liked someone else, though she hadn't told her who yet, to Emily's dismay. " She said she was going to call Sam and tell him yes." Casey continued. _

_Derek looked at his step sister. Step Sister. He had to keep telling himself that over and over again. This wasn't just some chick he could charm into dating him. She was his step-sister and they weren't allowed to date. She was so much smarter then him, so even if they were step siblings, there would be no chance she would actually date him. _

_There was apart of him that was registering what he was doing as he lifted his hand up to her cheek and caressed it. Apart of him telling him to stop as he pulled her closer to him, touching his lips to hers gently. He would've stopped, he told himself, if she didn't taste so good and if she didn't respond to his kisses with such a sweet innocent passion. _

_Casey was overcomed with what was happening. She couldn't believe that Derek Vanturi was actually kissing her. She could feel herself melting into his welcoming arms. She knew she should stop and pull away, before things turned really heated. Yet she couldn't seem to make her body listen to her logic. Instead of doing what her mind told her, Casey gave into his passion with a sweet passion of her own. _

_Minutes passed before they broke apart, each gasping for air. They stared at one another while they tried to regain their composure. Derek was the first to recover. " Sweet God." He muttered to himself as he stared down at Casey's kiss swollen lips. He ran his hands through his thick brown hair before giving up the control he was trying to gain and pulling Casey back into his passion. _

_A knock on Casey's door pulled them apart. Trying to put herself to rights, Casey called out that the knocker could come in. It was Marti." Casey Emily just called." She said walking in and handing Casey the phone. She waited for Casey to thank her before turning to her older brother. " Smerek, have you seen Rachel?" She asked him. Rachel was Marti's imaginary friend whom she kept losing. Of course, not wanting to disappoint her, the family had allowed Marti to continue on with her friend. _

_" Sorry Smarti, can't say that I have." He answered, ruffling her chin length brown hair around. Though Derek would never admit it into complete words, he loved his younger sister a lot, and would do anything to make her happy. Though he didn't say the words, it was more then apparent by his actions. Although at the moment, he wanted Marti to leave so he could continue what he was doing with Casey. _

_Marti made a huffing noise and then stocked off out of the room, calling out Rachel's name all the while. Derek got up and closed the door behind Marti, making sure to lock against farther invasion of their nosy family members. He then turned to Casey, and would have advanced on her had she not been talking on the phone. He sighed as he waited for the conversation to end. _

_Casey wanted nothing better then too just hang up on Emily and go back to kissing Derek, yet she couldn't seem to get Emily off the phone. She was carrying on about how she and Sam would be going out tomorrow and how much she really liked him. Most of which Casey had known. " Emily, I've got to go. George needs the phone." She lied to her friend finally unable to stand waiting for the conversation to end. From there the two friends said good night and hung up the phone. _

_" Finally!" Derek said as Casey placed the phone on her bedside table. " I didn't think you guys were ever going to stop talking!" He said in a sort of dramatic voice. He moved closer to Casey then, intending to fully start off where they had left off moments before. Just as he was lowering his lips down to hers, the phone rang. Groaning, he tore himself away from her, grabbed the phone, and answered, knowing it was Sam calling to him the news of his and Emily's date. _

_" Dude, Emily already called and told Casey." He said, about to end the conversation before it began. He was in no mood to listen to his friend talk about his relationship with his new girlfriend. Not now, not when he was so turned on. Ending the conversation abruptly, he hung the phone up and tossed it on the floor, not wanting to be bothered with it any more. _

_Grabbing hold of Casey's wrist, he yanked her into his lap. He didn't bother with any cunning words, but instead went back to thoroughly kissing her. It didn't take him long to allow his hands to roam her luscious body. He deepened the kiss as his hands moved underneath her shirt. He didn't immediately move to her breast. Instead his fingers moved slowly up and down her stomach. _

_Casey felt so many emotions playing through her as she laid in Derek's lap, allowing his hands to roam around her body. She knew what they were doing was wrong. They were step-siblings after all, but she couldn't seem to make herself care enough to actually stop. Casey wrapped her arms around his neck, and started playing with the hairs on the back of his neck. _

_When he was sure she would protest, Derek's hand moved underneath her lacy bra and cupped her full left breast in his hands. She moaned softly with pleasure. Her breast felt just right in his hands. Moving his kisses down her neck slowly, he began to play with her nipple. He grinned to himself with arrogance when he felt her moving about underneath him restlessly. He knew he was fully igniting passion within her. He knew where this would lead them, and he was fully expecting to enjoy the night in her arms. He was no virgin, given it up to some girl when he was 15, yet he felt the excitement one feels during their first time. _

_Derek slow lifted Casey's shirt off of her, running his hands down her sides, his hands moved to her back, making quick work of taking off her bra. Then both hands moved to cup her breasts, causing Casey to jump slightly with the pleasure of his hands on her breasts. _

_" Derek.." She groaned out in pleasure. This was all so very overwhelming. She know longer had time to think, wasn't sure she'd even be able to anyways. He was busy making sure she couldn't clear her mind enough to stop him. He wanted her to feel the fiery passion he was feeling. The intense desire he was fighting to hold in check. And from all her moans, it appeared as if he was doing exactly that. _

_Then he took one of her breast in his mouth and began suckling. The pleasure she had just been feeling tripled, if at all possible. She couldn't believe the feelings he was invoking in her. Couldn't believe it was at all possible to feel so good. Unlike Derek, this was Casey's first sexual encounter. Like Derek, she was enjoying this way to much to stop._

_While his mouth was on one of her breast, his and was taunting her other one. Then he transferred positions between his hands and mouth. When he was done, he moved back up to her mouth, and kissed her passionately as his hands moved down past her jeans and underwear, where he met her intimate curls. His fingers played with the curls for a moment or two before moving on down to her woman's core. She was very wet, to his utter delight. He knew her body was ready to take in his, but he wasn't done playing, and he wanted to make sure this was nothing but pleasurable for them both. _

_His fingers separated her gentle folds, playing with her a bit, he pushed a finger into her tight core. She made a surprised sound and tore away from his lips. " Derek" She said breathlessly. He silenced her with a kiss. _

_" Let me make this good for us." He said into the kiss. He pulled his finger out, though not all the way, then plunged it back in. Casey couldn't protest any longer, she could feel something starting to build up inside of her. Wanting to stretch her more, he pushed another finger in her. Pulling his finger in and out, he watched as Casey started moving beneath him. She was more then ready for him._

_Pulling himself away from her long enough, Derek made quick work of removing all of his clothes, leaving himself bare before Casey. She didn't get much of a chance to look though, because he was back and on top of her in seconds. She could feel his harden arousal probing for entrance in her most intimate of places. She gasped at the shock of just how big he was. Fear suddenly entered her eyes, and Derek noticed it immediately. He kissed her gently. _

_" Don't be afraid, love." He said, wanting to calm her down. He wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to control himself. Not now that he was so close to getting what he'd fantasized about for the past three months. _

_" This is my first time." She whispered, wanting him to know why she was so scared. Her words had surprised Derek, but didn't make him want to stop. He was already too far gone to stop. Besides, he liked the idea that he would be her first. 'And hopefully last' He thought to himself. Those thoughts surprised him. He hadn't known just how much he'd feel about Casey. Yet this protectiveness he was feeling towards her, this passiveness surely met he something. ' I'm in love with her!' He thought with surprised. _

_" I'm glad I'm your first." And your last. He kept those last words to himself. He kissed her thoroughly. " I love you Casey." He whispered as he pushed his shaft deep inside of her. _

_He held onto her as the pain of losing her maidenhead coursed through it her. It wasn't lasting, though it had brought tears into Casey's eyes. When he was sure the pain was gone, he began moving inside her. He set a steady rhythm of pulling almost all the way, and then plunging deep inside of her. _

_The pleasure was groundbreaking. Casey felt as if she was about to explode, and after a few more plunges from Derek, she did exactly that. Her vision began to see fireworks as please upon pleasure rolled through her. She didn't think she was going to be able to take anymore, and yet he continued pumping into her._

_Derek watched as Casey climaxed. Could feel the way her body moved with the pleasure. It made him more excited, almost unable to continue what he was doing. All he wanted to do was to spend himself inside of her, yet he wasn't ready to end this. Not yet. Then she climaxed again. This time, Derek was unable to stop himself from spilling his warm seeds inside of her. Exhausted, and unable to move, Derek collapsed on top of Casey. They laid in the aftermath of their love making, both unable to catch their breath. _

_Finally, after a few minutes, Derek rolled off of Casey and pulled her to his side as he laid beside her on her small bed. His heart was racing wildly, and from feeling her chest , so was hers. He then grabbed a blanket and threw it over them. It had never been like that before. Never had he gone out of his way to make sure his partner felt more pleasure then him, yet with Casey, everything was different. He was different. _

_Wishing he could stay snuggled up beside her forever, he knew he couldn't. Their parents would through a fit. Looking down at her sleeping form, Derek gave her one last kiss on the cheek then hurried to get dressed. Within a minute he was dressed and leaving. He looked back at her whisk fully. He then closed the door behind him as silently as possible. It was late and he didn't want to wake anyone up as he left Casey's room and entered his own. _

_**2 Months Later**_

_Casey paced around her room as she awaited for the results. She bit her bottom lip and wringed her hands together. It had been two months since that night she'd shared with Derek, and during that time Derek had spent a great deal of time with her. They had avoided others when they were together, spending most of the time simply making out. She wasn't sure why, but she had the feeling that things would change between them in the months before now. When she'd missed two periods, and was heaving up her stomach in the morning, she was even more sure of her thoughts. _

_One more minute until the results. " Casey come on! You've been in there for half an hour!" Her sister Lizzie called out, banging on the door. _

_" I'm almost done!" Casey called out, moving towards the cup with a stick that would soon decide her future. ' Please just let it be a false alarm.' She thought to herself as she picked the stick up. She closed her eyes and looked down at the strip that would tell her the answer. Pink. _

_Casey could feel her world starting to turn black. This was definitely not good. Casey grabbed onto the counter to steady herself. ' How am I going to explain this?' She thought to herself miserablely. Careful to hide the test and the results in the trash, Casey opened the door and glided past Lizzie, hoping the girl couldn't see the tears in her eyes. Lizzie didn't have time to notice, she ran into the bathroom immediately after Casey had left. _

_Casey ran back into her room, closed the door and locked it. She turned around to look around her room. She had no clue what she was going to do now. What did a 17 year old pregnant girl do? She knew she had to tell Derek. That would be her first step, from there she was sure they could come up with a plan . She couldn't do this alone. Once deciding this, Casey unlocked her door and left her room, in search of Derek. She was sure she'd find him in his room. _

_Not bothering to knock on his door, Casey simply entered his room. At first she couldn't see anything. But then she turned on the lights. She looked over at the bed and gasped at what she saw. Derek laying on his back with Kendra laying over him, in a deep make out session. They didn't even seem to notice the lights where on and that she was standing in front of the door. Casey turned around and ran out of the room, slamming the door shut loudly behind her. Her tears spilling fastly down her checks before she entered her room and locked the door behind her. She laid on her bed and cried. _

_When the door had slammed shut, Derek opened his eyes. The lights where on and Kendra was laying over him. He cursed at himself and he shoved her off of him. Kendra had come to him while he was asleep. She had made certain not to turn the lights on when she had entered his bed. This whole time he had thought it was Casey. He smacked himself. He should have known better. Casey wasn't that sneaky. Derek looked over at Kendra and glared. " What have you done?" He said disgusted in her, and in himself. He pushed himself off the bed and ran out of his room, running to Casey's locked door._

_He began to bang on the door. " Come on Casey let me in!" He shouted out the door, not caring who heard him. Tears pricked at his eyes, yet he didn't release them. He knew this was going to change everything between them. He knew she'd no longer accept him because of this, but he had to try. His heart was breaking in two over the silence from Casey. " Please Casey, just hear me out." He begged, sorrow entering in his voice. It was the first time he'd ever felt the kind of pain that was eating at him. He could only imagine what it was Casey was feeling. _

_­_


End file.
